Helping your child have a good body image

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From an early age, children are bombarded with images of ‘perfection’ on social media and in music, TV, film, advertising. This can make them feel that how people look and present themselves is more important than who they really are. It can also make them feel insecure about their own developing bodies. But while you can’t really stop them seeing images of ‘perfect’ bodies in the media, there are simple things you can try to help them be more confident about the way they look.

Tips for helping your child feel confident about their body

Tip #1: Be positive about your own body

This can be hard as we all have bits of our bodies we don’t like and days when we don’t want to look in the mirror. But by being kind about your own body and not constantly criticising yourself in front of your children, you’ll be helping them learn to be kind to themselves too.

You can find some helpful tips for improving how you feel about your body on the Mental Health Foundation website.

Tip #2: Be active together

Try and keep as active as you can with your kids, whether you’re out and about or stuck indoors on a rainy day. Encourage them to think of physical activity as fun and good for your health, rather than linking it to the way we look.

Tip #3: Try not to focus on people’s looks

How often do you find yourself talking about weight, or diets, or praising or criticising someone else’s appearance, whether they’re a celebrity in a magazine or your next door neighbour? Try to stop yourself doing this too much, particularly in front of your child.

Tip #4: Eat healthily

Dad and daughter cooking together

If you have a healthy attitude to food, you’ll pass it on to your kids. Again, we know this isn’t always easy – but there are a few simple things you can do that will help:

Try to focus on a balanced diet as a way to keep healthy and strong rather than to control weight.
Try not to make healthy food seem boring and sweet foods a treat – for example, try not to make pudding a reward for eating their greens.
Resist the urge to label foods ‘good’ and ‘bad’ – instead try calling them foods you have ‘always’ and ‘sometimes’.

Tip #5: Praise them for who they are, not how they look

We all love it when our children look smart, or pretty, or handsome, but if children get too much praise for how they look they can start to feel that this is the most important thing about them. Try praising them for things they have control over, like choosing a nice outfit or brushing their hair, and things they’ve done, like working hard for a test at school, practising music or sport, being kind to someone or tidying their bedroom without being asked.

What can I do if my child’s struggling with the way they look?

If your child’s unhappy with the way they look, here are some things you can do to reassure them:

Tip #1: It’s what’s inside that counts

Remind them it’s how they feel and what they do that matters, not how they look. Help them list all the good qualities they have, like being kind and caring, persevering and working hard. You could even put the list in their ‘awesome box’ if you’ve made one.

Tip #2: Remind them of all the things their body can do

Father wearing a tutu dancing with his daughter

From running and jumping to singing, dancing and being creative, our bodies can do amazing things! Help them think about all the great things their bodies can do. You could even all head outdoors and run about, or put on some music and sing along or dance, to celebrate what our bodies can do.

Tip #3: We’re all different

Try talking to them about how everyone is different, and how this makes life so interesting. It would be boring if we were all the same!

Tip #4: Chat about the images they see on social media

Remind them that the people they see in magazines or on social media may have spent hours getting ready for their photo and spent lots of money on stylists, make-up artists and personal trainers. And sometimes the images are digitally manipulated to make them look better. If photos in magazines are getting them down, try sticking some googly eyes on them. Not only will it make everyone laugh, but it’ll also show how easy it is to change the way someone looks, and how it doesn’t change how they are inside.