Looking after your relationship

Your working patterns may have shifted and changed a lot over the past year or so. Take a look at your working hours and see how to make them work for you, so you have time to spend together as a family, and as a couple. Our page on making daily life easier has some tips.

There’s no denying the past few years have been hard for couples. Accept that this is as difficult for them as it is for you, and try to see things from their point of view. It can be really helpful to understand where the other one is coming from.

If you both can, try and find a little space for yourself each day. If you're craving your own space, try to explain this to your partner as tactfully as you can – they may well feel the same way. You might want to take some time to go out and relax or do some exercise alone or with a friend. Even letting them have space to cook tea or soak in the bath could help. Ask them to do the same for you. Doing certain things on your own will also help give you things to talk about together. 

It could be a chat before the kids are up, or a cuddle on the sofa when they’re in bed. Try and make time that’s just between the two of you, where you can talk and listen to each other without distractions.

We’ve probably all been guilty of tuning out our partner every now and then. But taking time to really listen to what they have to say (rather than just waiting for your turn to talk) can be really good for your relationship. It can help you smooth out those little niggles that can turn into big arguments if you don’t catch them early.

Most couples argue sometimes – it’s how you deal with it that matters. This article from Relate has some useful tips on de-escalating arguments, for example, by taking time to calm down, expressing how their behaviour affects you rather than blaming them and trying to work out what’s at the root of your dispute.

What with home schooling, worries about work and financial concerns, fun may have slipped down the agenda. How about carving out some time for a ‘date night’, watching a favourite film you haven’t seen for years, or listening to music you both love? Sometimes it can be good to remember the things you liked doing together before the kids came along!