Children and neurodiversity

Everybody’s brain works in a slightly different way. We all find some things easy and some things difficult, from how we learn to how we interact with others, and this varies from person to person. However, for some people, the difference between the way their brains work and the way society generally expects people’s brains to work is more pronounced.

This is the case for people who are autistic, or have ADHD, developmental language disorder, dyslexia, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, dysgraphia or Tourette’s Syndrome, all of which are included under the ‘umbrella’ of neurodivergence.

Here you’ll find information on how to spot the signs that your child’s brain may work in a different way and how you can talk to them about this and get any support they may need to help them flourish.

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What is neurodiversity and neurodivergence?

The brains of neurodivergent people are ‘wired’ differently to the majority of other people (‘neurotypical’ people). This means they see and experience the world in their way – and this can make things difficult because the world is often designed for ‘neurotypical’ people and doesn’t account for the way neurodivergent people experience things.

Neurodivergence isn’t a mental health condition or disability – it’s a cognitive difference. It doesn’t need to be ‘cured’. However, neurodivergent people may need some adjustments made to their environments to help them flourish. For example, some neurodivergent children may need more peace and quiet to concentrate or may need a bit more time to do work or to take more breaks, and may find a noisy, busy, brightly lit classroom a challenging environment to learn in.

What are the common signs of neurodivergence?

Every neurodivergent person is different, and different types of neurodivergence have different signs. But there are some common signs. Some of these can make life difficult, but others are strengths. These include:

how they notice and understand social cues
communicating in social situations
development of speech, language and communication
physical tics or actions, like rocking
being clumsy
sensitivity or insensitivity to light, sound, heat, crowds or other stimuli
a strong preference for routine and a need for particular approaches to feel calm about change
shifting attention or focus a lot in some contexts or, on the other hand, having extremely good powers of concentration and focusing for a long time on things they find interesting or enjoy
innovative thinking
close attention to detail
a heightened ability to recognise patterns, often leading to strong skills in music and technology.

I think my child might be neurodivergent – what should I do?

People don’t become neurodivergent – they’re born that way. But sometimes it can take a while for the signs to appear. Some children will even mask or hide the signs in order to fit in with their friends. If you suspect your child acts or responds differently, your first port of call should be your GP or, if your child’s at school, their teacher, to see what they think.

Some children may be neurodivergent in more than one way. For example, they may be autistic and have ADHD (also known as AuDHD) or have dyslexia and dyscalculia.

You can find a short overview of various neurodivergent conditions and where to get support on this page. You can also download resources relating to all these conditions from the Neurodiversity Week website.

Autism

Autism is a neurological difference: in some ways, autistic brains work differently to non-autistic brains. Autistic people may have autistic ways of communicating and interacting with others. They may have higher or lower sensitivities to noise, smells and sounds, and they may have an autistic way of thinking and processing information. This can lead to challenges, because the world is set up for non-autistic people and doesn’t allow for these differences.

You can find out more about autism at NHS Inform and on the Different Minds website.
Scottish Autism provide information, advice, and a range of support services across Scotland for autistic individuals and their families.
For children at the early years stage, you might find it helpful to join a Hanen ‘More Than Words’ Parent Programme to meet other parents and access support and practical ideas to understand your child and support positive play and communication. You can ask about this through your local Speech and Language Therapy Department.
It can make a big difference if neurotypical people are aware of, understand and accept the different communication styles between autistic and non-autistic people. To find out more, take a look at the Autism and the Social Rulebook, an eBook on the Different Minds website. It was written and created in partnership with autistic adults and gives an insight into the differences between autistic and non-autistic communication styles. We all communicate differently, and that’s okay.

ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder)

ADHD affects concentration and how children act and respond in different settings. Signs include inattentiveness, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. Many children go through phases where they're restless or inattentive – this doesn't necessarily mean they have ADHD. However, you should consider talking to your child's teacher or your GP if you think the way they act or respond to certain situations is different to most other children their age.

You can find out more about ADHD at NHS Inform and on the YoungMinds website.
ADHD UK also offer information and support.
There may be a local ADHD support group in your area – you can search for a group near you on the Scottish ADHD Coalition.
NHS Scotland and SilverCloud offer free courses to help you boost your wellbeing and mental health, and support your children too. Their Supporting a child with ADHD programme is designed for parents and carers of 6 to 12 year olds who’ve been diagnosed with ADHD or are waiting for an ADHD assessment. You can find out more about the course here and sign up for free using the code Scotland2020.

Developmental co-ordination disorder

Developmental co-ordination disorder or DCD, also sometimes called dyspraxia, affects a person’s ability to perform movements in a smooth, coordinated way. It may also affect speech, time management and planning and organisational skills. You can find out more about the signs and what to do if you notice them in your child at the NHS website.

Developmental language disorder

Developmental language disorder (DLD) is a lifelong neurodevelopmental condition that makes it hard for children to talk or understand what people are saying to them. Lots of children can get words mixed up or struggle to make themselves understood when they’re learning to talk, but for children with DLD, these challenges don’t go away as they get older. But with the right support, children with DLD can do very well in life.

You can find out more about how to spot DLD and where to get help on the Speech and Language UK website and the RADLD (Raising Awaremess of Developmental Language Disorder) website.

Dyslexia

People with dyslexia find things like reading, writing and remembering things more difficult. However, dyslexia also comes with many strengths, like creativity and good problem solving skills.

Dyslexia Scotland’s website includes information on the range of support and advice services they offer to parents or carers of children and young people with dyslexia.

Dyscalculia

People with dyscalculia find maths and arithmetic more difficult. Children with dyscalculia learn in a different way, so they can still be taught to do maths but in a way that suits them, which is different from the way maths is usually taught at school. You can find out more at the Dyscalculia Information and Addressing Dyslexia websites.

Dysgraphia

People with dysgraphia find writing particularly difficult. For example, they’ll mix up lower case and upper case letter and have problems with spacing and letter shapes. Like dyslexia and dyscalculia, children and adults with dysgraphia aren’t any less clever than people without these conditions, but may well need extra help at school. You can find out more on the National Handwriting Association website.

Tourette's syndrome

Tourette's syndrome causes you to make involuntary sounds and movements called tics. They usually appear in childhood between the ages of 2 and 14 (around 6 years is the average). Many children have tics for several months before growing out of them, so a tic does not necessarily mean they have Tourette's syndrome. You can find out more about Tourette’s syndrome on the NHS website and get help and support at Tourette Scotland and Tourette's Action.

My child has been identified as neurodivergent – how do I explain it to them?

If your child is identified as neurodivergent they may find this confusing or upsetting. How you talk to them about it will depend on how old they are and how much they can understand. If you feel they’re ready and able to have a conversation about it, here are some tips for talking to them.

Tip #1: Pick your moment

Like all challenging conversations, there’s no right or wrong time to talk to them about this, but choosing a calm, quiet moment when you have plenty of time to answer their questions will help. And let them know that they can always come to you with any questions or concerns later on – our page on encouraging your child to confide in you has more tips for talking and listening that may help.

Tip #2: Create a relaxed atmosphere by doing an activity together

Sometimes it’s easier to talk while you’re doing something else, so it may help to do an activity together that you both enjoy, like baking, drawing or dancing. The YoungMinds website has some good ideas for activities you could try, as well as conversation starters and tips for supporting your child.

Tip#3: Watch a video together

This video by Thriving Autism is a great starting point for having a chat about being autistic.

Tip #4: Focus on their abilities

Your child may not like the idea of being different to other children in their class or getting ‘special’ treatment. But it’s not that they’re different to everyone else, it’s that they’re like other neurodivergent people. Try focusing on the things they can do. For example, are they good at drawing, or running, or singing? If they’re worried or frustrated that they ‘can’t do anything’ because they find some things harder, remind them that everyone has different talents.

Tip #5: Talk about other people who are neurodivergent

It may help to talk to your child about other people you know who are neurodivergent, like a family member or friend.

Or you could talk to them about well-known people who are neurodivergent, like Greta Thunberg, who sees her autism as a ‘superpower’, or Billie Eilish, who has Tourette’s syndrome. This may help your child realise how special they are. You can find lots of examples of neurodivergent celebrities on the Neurodiversity Week website.

Tip #6: Watch programmes and read books that represent diversity

Children like to see themselves reflected in the books they read and films and series they watch, so reading and watching things that represent neurodiversity will help them feel that they’re not alone and are part of something bigger.

You can find lots of ideas for younger kids on the Love Reading 4 Kids website while the Scottish Book Trust have ideas of books for 9-11 year olds and books for 12-14 year olds. You could also try reading these comics from Neurodiversity Week together.

Mum and young daughter looking at a tablet together.

How can I ensure my child gets the help and support they need at school?

Children have a legal right to get additional support at school if it’s needed. Whatever your child’s needs and whenever they arise, everyone involved should try to identify them as early as possible and provide them with the support they need. If you have any concerns about how your child is getting on at school or you feel that they need extra help with their learning, the best thing to do is raise this with your child’s teacher as soon as you can.

You can also get more information about additional support needs, and confidential advice on your rights and entitlements, through Enquire.

Our page on additional support for learning has more information, and you can also find out more on the Parentzone Scotland website.

What if my child’s being bullied because they’re neurodivergent?

If you’re concerned that your child may be being bullied, try and talk to them about it – and to listen to what they have to say. Our section on bullying has more information and advice.