Mental health support for new dads

You may have heard that skin to skin contact is really important to help mothers and babies bond – and the same goes for dads and babies too. Holding your baby against your chest, close to your heart, can help soothe them, and you may well find it’s calming for you too. The more time you can spend with your baby, holding them, watching them, talking and singing to them and copying what they do, the closer your connection will be. Our page on connecting with your baby has lots of ideas you can try.

Every day is a new challenge when you bring a baby home, so take one day at a time. Try not to worry too much about the future and focus on the here and now instead. Savour those precious moments as you cuddle your newborn, talk to them, and make funny faces at them – after all, they’ll never be this tiny again!

At first you may feel that you’ll never get the hang of being a parent. But try to remember that bringing home a baby is a learning process for you, your partner and your baby, and things will get better as you learn to do things more efficiently and become more confident – whether that’s changing nappies, bathing or dressing your wee one or making them smile.

Yes you may both be exhausted and overwhelmed, but if you and your partner are able to talk things through and share out duties so you both have a chance to rest and to spend quality time with your wee one, this will make a big difference. Don’t try to guess what your partner needs – ask them! And don’t expect them to guess how you’re feeling either.

Friends and family are likely to offer to help – so let them! Whether it’s cooking, shopping or watching the wee  one while you and your partner rest or spend some precious time together, put your friends and family to work and let them help you lighten the load.

Even if the weather’s not on your side, taking the wee one out for a walk will give your partner time to rest and you time to clear your head. Fresh air boosts the spirits and helps everybody sleep better – including your baby! Try using the wrap in your Baby Box to keep your little one close to you when you’re out and about it will help build your bond together.

It may sound obvious, but taking a few deep breaths really can make all the difference if you’re feeling anxious, upset or angry. These simple breathing exercises from NHS Inform can be done anywhere at any time and only take a few minutes.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, so to make sure you’re able to look after your family, you need to look after yourself too. Try to eat healthily and get some sleep when you can – not always easy with a baby we know!

If things feel like they’re getting on top of you, having a chat to a friend or another new parent can really help put things in perspective – and you may pick up some useful tips too. Remember you can always talk to your health visitor – they’re there for both parents, not just mum. The Fathers’ Network Scotland Directory lists dad-friendly groups and organisations all around the country which provide support, advice or information on your new parenting role.

Having a baby is a huge, life-changing event and most new dads will feel low or anxious at some point. But if these feelings persist, it may be a sign of something more serious, like depression. Because it’s not only mums who can experience postnatal depression after their baby is born – it can affect dads too. If you think this may be the case, don’t keep it to yourself. Talk to your health visitor or GP or call a helpline like Breathing Space or the Samaritans. You can get more information about depression on the NHS Inform website.